Turns out, you might be experiencing gaslighting at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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- Gaining control and avoiding productivity are 2 main motives behind gaslighting.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- The first step in dealing with a gaslighter is to start documenting every conversation and agreement between you and them. <\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Gaslighting in itself is not illegal \u2014 but it can fall under the Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 if there is discrimination involved.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
What is gaslighting?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Gaslighting is a type of manipulative abuse where another person wants to exert power over someone by making them feel confused, isolated, and question their own perception of reality. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Funnily enough, the term doesn\u2019t stem from psychological literature. Rather, it comes from a 1938 play, Gaslighter<\/em>, later made into a movie starring Ingrid Bergman as Paola \u2014 a woman led to believe that her husband was purposely dimming the gaslights every night. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The movie won several Oscars, and the term gaslighting was never forgotten. In fact, it was the Merriam-Webster word of the year in 2022. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, the popularity of the term doesn\u2019t bring any comfort to gaslighting victims, as it occurs more and more frequently at work as well. A toxic manager, a scheming colleague, or a dissatisfied client can leave you feeling completely disoriented and unable to trust yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Demystifying gaslighting behaviors<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
According to a gaslighting study<\/a> from 2023, there are 2 main motives behind gaslighting: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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- Gaining control and <\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Avoiding accountability. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
The gaslighter wants to exert control over their colleague. Once they dominate the person\u2019s mind and actions, the gaslighter can continue with whatever they\u2019re doing. The stronger the grip, the more dependent the gaslit coworker becomes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When the gaslighter makes the victim doubt their own decisions and feelings, they can continue with their inappropriate behavior. And if we translate this to office behavior, it may be your colleague covering up for their own lack of ideas, incompetence, or badly performed tasks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gaslighters have a few common traits that you can recognize them by. As Psychology Today<\/a> mentions, most gaslighters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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- Lie and exaggerate frequently,<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Show aggressive behavior when confronted with the truth, and<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Project a false image of themselves (they usually portray themselves as successful and charming).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Knowing what these traits are is vital when you need to handle gaslighting in the workplace. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Licensed Social Worker and Clinical Director Candace Kotkin-De Carvalho<\/a> points out that taking advantage of coworkers is, in fact, a gaslighter’s end goal: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Candace-Kotkin-De-Carvalho.jpeg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\u201cBy creating confusion, doubt, and uncertainty, gaslighters can manipulate their victims into behaving in ways that are advantageous to them. The tactic is designed to make the victim feel as though they are unable or unworthy of succeeding in their workplace, and it can be incredibly damaging for everyone involved.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
10 examples of gaslighting at work<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Gaslighting may take many forms, and learning how to recognize them is the best way to handle it. Let\u2019s see the 10 most common examples of gaslighting at work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#1 Lying about what happened<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
For instance, when you talk to your boss and agree on a specific project question, only to have your boss deny that it actually happened. This can also happen if you are working on a task with a coworker, and they deny discussing certain points with you in the past. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#2 Shifting blame over to you<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
When things go wrong, gaslighters will try to convince you that you are to blame for the negative outcome. You can recognize this by the fact that you weren\u2019t responsible for, or couldn\u2019t have controlled, the outcome in the first place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And yes, it could be something quite simple, such as sending out invitations (check out the visual below). But don\u2019t be fooled \u2014 even something as trivial as that has probably been strategically picked by the gaslighter to destroy your confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Nora-accusing-Alice-of-a-mistake-she-didnt-make-in-Pumble-a-business-messaging-platform-1110x592.png\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nYes, gaslighting at work can even happen in team chat apps like Pumble<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
#3 Saying one thing and doing another<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
If your boss claims being late is unacceptable, yet they themselves are constantly late, this may be an example of gaslighting. Whenever there is a gap between what the other person is saying and doing, it\u2019s a red flag for possible gaslighting practice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#4 Downplaying your success<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
POV: You had finished an important project, and your boss spoke highly of it to you in private. However, during the team meeting, that same boss highlighted some of your errors and undermined your success. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#5 Keeping information from you<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
If your boss or your colleagues intentionally withhold information from you, with the purpose of them appearing superior to you, then you\u2019re probably being gaslighted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This way, during a team meeting, you aren\u2019t able to draw conclusions you normally would, simply because you don\u2019t have enough information. Ergo, you seem like you don\u2019t know how to do your job! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#6 Excluding you from meetings <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
And not only meetings. When your coworkers or boss \u201cunintentionally\u201d forget to invite you to a meeting, team building event, or conference, that\u2019s a red flag. After you call them out on it, they\u2019re most likely to say they just forgot to invite you, and that there\u2019s no reason for you to get upset. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#7 Isolating you from your colleagues<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
When someone at work starts to spread rumours about you, what they really want is to separate you from the rest of the team. It also functions the other way around, when they tell you in confidence what the other colleagues have been allegedly saying about you. Creating a hostile work environment is a fertile ground for successful gaslighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#8 Refusing to listen to any of your concerns<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
When you are not okay with inappropriate jokes made about you, you are being labelled as \u201ctoo sensitive\u201d. Or, if you voice your concerns about how you\u2019re being treated in your workplace, your superior casually disregards them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#9 Implementing vague policies<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Clear and precise policies are the backbone of a healthy atmosphere at work. When your boss implements a policy that is not specific, they can refuse any of your requests even though you did everything right. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, if a PTO policy states that you should request your days off in advance, and you do that 2 weeks prior to your vacation \u2014 your boss can easily say that you should have done it even sooner. After all, \u201cin advance\u201d can mean so many different things to so many people!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#10 Undermining your confidence<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Finally, if you are constantly given smaller, seemingly unimportant projects and tasks to work on, or your boss keeps making statements about your ability to perform complex tasks \u2014 beware. This is a sign you\u2019re being gaslit at work, aimed directly at your confidence and well-being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Common gaslighting phrases & how to respond to them<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
All of the above-mentioned examples can happen on a daily basis, and it\u2019s vital to recognize them as soon as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are some common gaslighting phrases to help you catch the gaslighting behavior sooner. We\u2019ve also included useful phrases to shut down the gaslighter ASAP.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/How_to_deal_with_gaslighting_at_work_-1110x831.png\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n![\"robin-stern\"](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/robin-stern-headshot.jpeg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"Effortless](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/banner-pumble.png\")
\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n <\/div>\n\n \n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Kaila-Hattis.jpeg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n![\"Elevate](\"https:\/\/cake.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/banner-productivity-suite.png\")
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